Car Stuff for Women
By Sean Daniel Shortwinter
Copyright 2012 Sean Daniel Shortwinter
Smashwords Edition
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Car Stuff for Women
Table of Contents
1. Reality Check - What’s really going on?
2. Timing and Cooling - The important stuff first
3. Safety Gear - Junk in your trunk
4. Getting Home - Safe and sound
5. Getting Your Car Repaired - Shop dos and don’ts
6. A Change of Pace - Buying an older car for cash
7. Economy Cars - Buying an older econobox for even less cash
8. Buying a Classic - Fun in the sun
9. Conclusion
1. The Reality Behind the Scenes of Car Mechanics
If you can manage it at all, I would highly recommend not being a girl when your car breaks down. Just…don’t.
This may sound strange at first, but there are many advantages to being un-female the moment your vehicle decides it has had quite enough for the day.
Your Vauxhall Astra may decide it’s tired and needs a rest, or your Ford Focus is hot and wants to cool off in the shade for a while. Or maybe your Mazda Miata has experienced a really bad year - boyfriends and all - and just needs a little down time in Cabo.
There is one thing for certain, though - when your Toyota Yaris makes a clunky sound and quits in traffic - somewhere, somehow, a mechanic is going to try and cash in on the fact that you were born a girl.
Let’s try to avoid that, shall we?
Not equal
This may come as a shocker, but women haven’t always been treated as equals in modern society. I know - this is a startling revelation. What’s even more startling is the fact that some of these practices of gender bias are still going on, even as we speak.
I am well aware that you know this, so stop giggling and move on.
How do you know if you are being treated unfairly? There is a simple standardized test.
Look down…do you have a wing-wing?
If the answer is no and you don’t have a wing-wing, then you are a girl. And more than likely you’ve been treated unfairly by the auto industry.
These young men are ready to sell you a car
Women aren’t just ripped off with just with auto repairs, mind you. Car sales, especially used car sales, are gender biased.
I am happy to report that as of 2011, though, women are much more likely to use their brains concerning new cars than are men. A female will go directly to the safety and fuel-efficiency reports of the new car they are interested in, while men only care about looks and horsepower.
This is good news, because it makes my job easier.
We are going to cover the basics of automobiles in this book, as well as some advanced techniques that will make your life healthier and happier when it comes to fixing your car, or purchasing another one.
The first noticeable change that will happen after you finish this book, I think though, is your bank statement. Because men have been gouging women’s pocketbooks for decades involving anything with four wheels.
Shocking, I know.
A trip down memory lane
To understand how this all came about; we must go back in time several million years. Back when men and women still lived in caves and ate dinosaur meat for dinner. Something very important occurred in those caves as the millenniums rolled by, men discovered - to their dismay - that housekeeping was hard…and not fun at all.
Hunting dinosaurs and woolly mammoths with their buddies was fun, however, as was building fires and inventing things like wheels, crossbows and CD players.
Housework…not so much.
So men had to come up with a surefire way to completely avoid mundane and uncool things like laundry, changing diapers and cooking.
Enter the workplace
Men soon developed office buildings and factories to escape to during the day, making up self-important titles like ‘project manager’ and ‘lead quality control supervisor’ to impress their wives, who were stuck at home with the kids.
The men would slap each other on the back at the office, giddy on how well they’d fooled the ‘little woman’ back at home…then take a conference call on their phones made of carved wood, because telephones hadn’t been invented yet.
There was a problem concerning how to get from the cave to the office, however, and so man invented the car.
Umm, that’s it?
You can thank a Frenchman named Rudolph Diesel, along with a couple of his German pals, Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler, for the first gas engine automobile back in 1887.
Interestingly, in the next few years, electric and steam-powered cars would outsell gasoline-powered contraptions until around 1902 or thereabouts. After that, the writing was on the wall….cars would have an easy-to-fix gas motor in the front, a steering wheel to replace the tiller and great big brass headlights to impress the girls.
Something else you might not know - electric cars were the rage for about ten years….and their range back then, 120 years ago, was exactly the same as a Nissan Leaf today.
Not kidding.
Man’s days are numbered
Over the next few decades several events occurred that spelled doom for men and their cars. First, automobiles became much easier to operate and maintain, and roads across the globe became better and better to drive on.
Secondly, as manufactures got their legs under themselves and learned how to mass produce cars, autos started to become affordable to anyone, no matter what their station in life.
Okay…maybe not that car
But, alas, 1939 was really the beginning of the end.
War rolled across Europe and eventually servicemen from nearly every nation were called up for duty, leaving massive production facilities empty of workers. Who would take their place?
Women would.
Women rushed to fill those spots as men flew bombers and fought valiantly in trenches against the Axis foe.
And women discovered something very; very interesting…this whole ‘go to work’ business wasn’t so bad after all.
Actually, it was quite pleasant compared to changing diapers and cleaning the fridge out - and they got paid!
Workin’ and makin’ mad stacks of cash…
As the war ended women across the globe rejoiced, filled out job applications and told their returning husbands to suck it….they were going to work. Men in every nation shrugged their shoulders, kicked back with a smug smile and drank several martinis, knowing full well in their hearts that such nonsense would never last.
But last it did.
Women thrived in the business world, pushing paper around and attending useless meetings, all the while wondering why their husbands had made such a fuss about it. They fielded phone calls and production problems with glee, and excelled at multi-tasking, money-management and long ‘business’ lunches.