Fancy A Day Off? The Bible of Excuses.
By J B Smith
Published by M&S Direct Publishing at Smashwords
Copyright © 2011 Toby Carrington-Woods
Smashwords
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Excuses for Schools, Colleges & Universities
Imagine; Monday mornings when the alarm goes off at around 6.30am with the thought of your one hour morning commute. The daily grooming rituals and the buttoned up shirt makes you cringe at the thought of it. Another day at work makes you want to cry. I can read your mind, you don’t want to go to work, you can’t face the daily grind, YOU NEED the day off.
So what are you to do? Rely on the Lord to come to your aid.....The Bible of Excuses has the answer. Choose from the hundreds of tried and tested excuses that work day in day out for people all around the world.
Let’s be honest, sometimes you just need a day. The Bible of Excuses holds all the answers and is your guide to freedom. In essence, this is the freedom you deserve to do whatever you want just for once in your life. Anyone who reads from cover to cover and follows J M Smiths creative instructions will have earned their MD: Master of your Day.
So what are you waiting for? Grab your mobile phone and get dialling....Learn the tricks and apply the tried and tested excuses, your next day of freedom is just one phone call away! Well, without further ado let’s get started...
I am sorry I won’t make it in today, as my car ran out of petrol on the way to work. I tried pushing it and got a hernia, so am now sat in A&E waiting to see the doctor.
My dog got out last night and was hit by a motorcycle; I need to take him to the vets.
I can’t come in today as the council is tending to the drain outside my house and I can’t get the car out.
I was scolded last night with a hot cup of tea that was spilt in my lap, sorry, but I’ll be in tomorrow!
My wife is sick so I am taking the day off to tend to her needs.
I won’t be in today as I was playing online poker last night and have no money left for the bus fare. Don’t worry though, I will try and win it back today while I am off.
Sorry sir but I will not be in today as my house was flooded yesterday and I am currently standing on my bed on the second floor of my house. Thanks see you later!
Hi, I have used all my sick days and therefore am calling in dead!
Sorry but I have eye trouble, and can’t see working today.
This morning, I took two laxative tablets in addition to my anti-depressants. I can’t seem to leave the toilet but I do feel good about it.
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
There is no way I can come in to work today, as the constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
I am really sorry but I won’t be in today as the dog ate my car keys. We are currently trying to hitchhike to the vets. Thanks and have a nice day!
I forgot I had to work today.
My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.
Sorry sir, but there has been an urgent family emergency; (whispering) I can’t say no more as it may endanger your life.