MANWHORES, BABY! YEAH!
Kate Russell
Copyright 2012 Kate Russell
Smashwords Edition
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For Cordelia, who is forbidden from meeting The Manwhore.
I think it’s time for a little discussion about one of the most popular romantic heroes, particularly in historical romance: The Manwhore. This alpha male goes by other names, but you can call him a Rake.
In fact, he tells you to do so, with that rough velvet voice of his. He hopes that you will move closer so that you can see his perfectly tied cravat, his artfully disheveled hair, and those dark, hunger-filled eyes. When he invites you to view his etchings upstairs, you will be tempted to—
What?
Oh, sorry. I got a little distracted.
Whether our hero has a title or is a plain mister, has a fortune or is hunting for one, he’s the one that makes the women swoon and their families cringe. Love him or hate him, you can’t ignore The Manwhore.
But really, can the poor guy help it?
Let’s look at the facts, shall we? I mean, The Manwhore’s got issues.
His father/ mother/ grandparents/ godparents/ aunts/ uncles/ sisters/ brothers aren’t there for him as he grows up. They are cold and snobby; they steal his toys; they insist the world is flat; they are adulterers, especially his mother.
Doesn’t it always come down to the mother?
It’s bad enough if his mother runs off with her lover. However, if she dies in a carriage accident because she and the dancing master fall off the edge of the earth, well, that’s just sad.
If The Manwhore hasn't already suffered enough in his young life, he then discovers the opposite sex.
A woman he either loves or thinks he loves (as he’ll usually claim later on) breaks his heart, as he balances on the cusp of manhood. She is usually characterized as a jilt, a whore, and believe me, there are plenty of them, but sometimes she’s simply a woman who falls in love with somebody else, usually his best friend/ brother/ footman.
There is always an exception to the rule—if the woman he loves dies, The Manwhore will use other women to counter the loneliness.
However, for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll focus on the other examples. The women (let’s face it, there are a lot of them) now have the opportunity to rub their happiness or dissatisfaction with their new lives in his face at a later time.
And boy, do they ever.
Women keep throwing themselves at him. All. The. Time.
What’s a poor, not-so-innocent young man teetering on the cusp of manhood supposed to do? He can’t say no, because they’re needy, especially if they’re widows or neglected wives, even more so later on if they’re the unhappy wives who dumped him years earlier. Can’t everybody see he’s trying to help the poor dears? Some of them may be a bit desperate, but they’ve got feelings, just like everyone else, and he’ll dare anyone to say differently.
But what about The Manwhore's friends, we wonder. Won't they try to keep him on the straight and narrow path?
Right.
His carousing buddies like to, well, carouse. All. The. Time.
What’s a poor, formerly innocent man in his prime supposed to do? I mean, he can’t walk away from peer pressure. That would be quite beyond the pale. Instead, he will try to give himself alcohol poisoning; visit gambling hells and brothels where hopefully the only thing he comes home with is lighter pockets; make bets that range from racing horses to having relations with either a debutante, married woman, or widow; and standing as a second for his friend who is too stupid to not beg pardon from the man he drunkenly insulted earlier.