FAST FOOLED
NOT FAST;
NOT FOOD
by
Darrel D. Miller
SMASHWORDS EDITION
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Darrel D. Miller on Smashwords
Fast Fooled
Not fast; not food
Copyright © 2012 by Darrel D. Miller
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please share it with them (afterall, this was free). Thank you for respecting the author's work.
* * * * *
If it isn't obvious I have a beef with Fast Food (or chicken, really anything you can buy at Fast Food Centers). But you can't really call it food. It is a food look alike (if it was in a contest, it would win, against real food, even, but only because we are lustful gluttons that like only parts of things (that's a fetish joke)) It is a food copy, a fopy, or a food analog (a fanalog, something that you should not carry around, or in, your stomach) My point is this, it is junk food (literally) and should be treated as such: like your mother said, it should be the last thing you eat. Think of that McHamburger-fries-malt-care-to-supersize-that, as dessert. And just In case you don't want to read the rest of this my bigger point is not: don't eat there; it's never eat there.
Fast food is a term that can be applied to any food that can be served or prepared very quickly (so quickly you didn't know you ate). Any food could technically be classified as fast food (emphasis on the technically and food), but it often includes the concept of the food being sold in a restaurant or store (its supposed to be fast service, but you've been there, you know that isn't true) It often includes precooked (as in before you were born) or preheated (ie warmed up, like left overs (which is what is). It is also served in some kind of container (dogs have a bowl, KFC puts it in a pail, which makes you feel less like a dog and more like a pig.) The containers are little presents, every time you get one you feel like it is your birthday (what did you get for your birthday? DIABETES! Jackpot!!). These packages can be take out/take off/take away (like you have somewhere important to go; you do the bathroom). And it is a secret in that little package, but its not a secret because your bag loudly proclaims you have food things in a bag. (your stomach went shopping and got a gift bag.) The places you buy the food can be kiosks with or without protection (you need it) places to sit or not (don't worry about sitting now, you will be later). These places are operated like factories, receiving raw (here meaning frozen) materials and churning out identical products regardless of location. In fact the materials for the product (lets call it what it is) are all shipped from central locations (known as shipping centers). The more I write the less it seems like I am talking about food and more like the UPS or USPS (only I want what they bring me)
So fast food outlets often are a drive thru service (because it costs too much to buy seats) Of course some have seats (but they are like sitting on boards) where customers can eat on the premises (if they must). Fast food is designed (by scientists, not chefs) to be eaten "on the go" (distracting you from what, or how much of it, you are eating) Thus it doesn't require the usual cutlery (or any really) Basically it works as finger food (only eating your fingers would be more nutritious)
Fast food, or ready to eat food, is not a new concept and has roots in Ancient Rome (as if they haven't done enough) and occurs anywhere that is urbanizing. (because in Rome you didn't have time to bathe in the bathhouses AND make dinner for your kids) In Rome, for example, they had stalls that sold bread, sausages, and wine. (the original Pita Hut) In Rome working class people depended on food vendors for their food (try cooking in a large cramped building and no fire department) The food of the day was bread soaked in wine (to kill the pain of being so poor you had to live in Rome) and for lunch was stew (the people couldn't unionize then because of malnutrition).
In the middle ages the menu expanded (as did their waist line) to include things such as pies, pastries, flan, waffles, wafers and cooked meats (but no kids meal). As with those in Rome, the clientele was largely made up of people who couldn't afford to have kitchens in their homes (or homes, sounds eerily familiar). The purchasers also included religious pilgrims (“get your communion cookies”) on their way to religious sites (the original tourist traps).
In contrast modern Fast food is prepared by industrialized means (which means its made in a factory) The product is made in a standardized way with standardize ingredients (for standardized appetites) It is served in as cheap a way as possible (which is why it is in plastic and thrown out a window (which is the only appropriate thing to do with the stuff (the food, not the wrappers (okay neither)))). Most of the food is made with processed ingredients (or parts of real food) mixed together via a magical formula that has you coming back again and again (because you're addicted).
This stuff has warped our idea of what food and fast is or should be. First off food. Food is stuff that provides nutrients for your body. It is made out of the constituent parts of vitamins, minerals, fiber and what not. What you get at Fast Food places is not food. It is a formula, and not a formula for nutrition, a formula for addiction. Which means it is loaded with Fat, Sugar and Salt (The Oily Trinity). The three things that biologists say are very addictive, especially sugar. In fact, lab rats, who regularly shoot heroin, will bear electrical shocks to get sugar. So which drug should we be making illegal? This shit is in everything you eat at Fast Food. No wonder you can't get enough. Like I said it is a formula, not just of addiction, but of non-nutrition. Your body gets those two chemicals, but it doesn't get anything to sustain it long term, that way you have to come back soon. Yes you just ate a super-sized meal last hour, but it has already shot through your system and you're hungry again. Great, you can just stop and grab another Burger Like Object: which is in fact a sugar delivery device.
But it is not just factory food producers that have ruined our appetites, we can also thank cars. Not only have they ruined our atmosphere, they also contributed to our burgeoning waist line. Its popularity and affordability after WW1 encouraged restauranteurs to sell lost of cheaply made food. (And you couldn't be much cheaper than hamburgers, sausages are a close second) And among thousands of other things we can thank Kansas for is the first Fast Food Restaurant: White Castle. This was in 1916 (and has probably contributed to more deaths than all wars combined. I say make REAL food, not war) White Castle introduced the high speed, high volume, low cost meal we all look forward to today. (No wonder they don't want to teach Evolution, they believe in survival of the fastest)
After all of this however we can take comfort in one thing that Fast Food does for us here in America. We are still #1 in the Fast Food industry, world wide (even it it makes us go #2). God Bless America!!
* * * * *
Thanks for reading my e-book, look for another next month
In the meantime:
follow me on twitter @ darreldmiller
or read my blog @ http://exactingthoughts.blogspot.com/
or email me @ dm52082@hotmail.com